Irrational Beliefs – Adapted from The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook

We saw in the previous post that our feelings arise because of our interpretation of an event, rather than the event itself. It is our interpretation of an event that really causes anxiety, fear, depression etc. In fact our interpretation is really our interpretation of reality. We respond to our own description of the world.

And our interpretation of events is based on our beliefs. Our beliefs can be rational or irrational. Many of our beliefs about ourself and the world were acquired because of our background. Our background itself consists of our genes, parentage, culture, education, expereinces, values etc. As a child we did not have any control over most of these … and as a result we picked up a lot of beliefs…. many of which are unrealistic and irrational. These are also called as negative self-talk.

At the root of all irrational thinking is the ASSUMPTION that things have been done to you. For example

• 'She makes me nervous'
  
• 'That really got me down'
  
• 'Being cheated gets me mad'

Nothing is done to you. Events happen in the world.

1. You experience those events (A)
   
2. You interpret those events because of your beliefs or self-talk (B)
   
3. Then you experience an emotion resulting from the self-talk (C)
   

So A does not cause C. B causes C. If your interpretation or self-talk is irrational and unrealistic, you will experience unpleasant emotions.

Two forms of common forms of irrational self-talk are statements that "awfulize" and "absolutize". You awfulize by making catastropic, nightmarish interpretations of your experiences. A frowning boss becomes one who intends to fire you. A momentary chest pain is a heart attack. Your friend takes on a night job and the thought of being alone is unthinkably terrible. And the result is that the feelings that follow that awfulizing self-talk tend themselves to be awful.

Irrational self-statements that absolutize often include words such as 'should', 'must','ought','always' and 'never'. The idea is that things have to be a certain way, or you have to be a certain way. Any deviation from that particular value or standard is
bad. The person who fails to live up to that standard is BAD. In reality, the standard is what is bad, because it is irrational.
Albert Ellis developed a system to attack irrational ideas or beliefs and replace them with realistic statements about the world. He suggested 10 basic irrational ideas, which are listed below.

Irrational Belief	Comments
It is an absolute neccesity for an adult to have love and approval from peers, family and friends.	In fact, it is impossible to please all the people in your life. Even those who basically like and approve you will not accept some behaviours and qualities. This irrational belief is probably the single greatest cause of unhappiness.
You must be unfailingly competent and almost perfect in all that you undertake.	The results of believing that you must behave perfectly are self-blame for inevitable failure, lowered self-esteem, perfectionistic standrads applied to all you are close to, and paralysis and fear at attempting anything.
Certain people are evil, wicked and villainous and should be punished.	A more realistic position is that they are behaving in ways that are antisocial or inappropriate. They are perhaps stupid, ignorant, or neurotic and may need to change their behaviour.
It is horrible when things and people are not the way you like them to be.	This might be described as the spoiled child syndrome. Any inconvenience, problem or failure to get your way is likely to be met with awfulizing self-statements. The result is intense irritation and stress.
External events cause human misery – people simply react as events trigger their emotions.	A logical extension of this belief is that you must control the external events in order to create happiness or avoid sorrow. Because such control has limitations and we are at a loss to completely manipulate the wills of others, a sense of helplessness and chronic anxiety results.
You should feel fear or anxiety about anything that is unknown, uncertain or potentially dangerous.	Many describe it as 'a little bell goes off and I think I ought to worry'. They begin to rehearse their scenes of catastrophe. Increasing the fear and anxiety in the face of uncertainity makes coping more difficult and adds to the stress.
It is easier to avoid than face life's difficulties and responsibilities.	There are many ways of ducking responsibility from procrastination to ignoring the issue.
You need something other or stronger or greater than yourself to rely on.	This belief becomes a psychological trap in which your independent judgement and your awareness of your particular needs are undermined by a reliance on higher authority.
The past has a lot to do with determining the present.	Just because you were once affected by something does not mean that you must continue the habits you formed to cope with the original situation. Those old patterns and ways of responding are just decisions made so many times they have become nearly automatic. You can learn from past experience and you don't have to be overly attached to it.
Happiness can be achieved by inaction, passivity and endless leisure.	There is more to happiness than perfect relaxation.